Positive Affirmations

Hey friends! I hope you are having an awesome day. I started mine off with a cup of coffee, a meditative walk, and a podcast I am OBSESSED with called Finding Body Freedom. My plans for today are to eat some yummy food, catch some rays in the pool, and hit up a yoga class tonight. Ahhh don’t ya just love summer?

So today I wanted to talk to you guys about something that has been SO helpful in my life/recovery. Something that I practice each and every day, and something that consistently reminds me who I am and where I’m going. Drum roll pleaseeeeee….

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

Positive affirmations are basically positive statements that you tell yourself over and over until you finally start to believe them. The important thing about positive affirmations is speaking as if what you WANT to happen is ALREADY happening. For example:

If you’re struggling with anxiety, instead of hoping that one day you will be brave enough to do xyz…your positive affirmation would be:

I am brave. Today I am brave. I am brave right now.

Get it? So you’re constantly speaking in the present tense, speaking the life and truth that you want for yourself.

There are simple affirmations…

  • I am strong.
  • I can do this.
  • I have a purpose.

…and more specific affirmations to match your current situation/struggle. Here are a few of my favorite affirmations that have helped me tremendously in my eating disorder recovery:

  • I am not more valuable if I take up less space.
  • I am MORE than my body.
  • I am a SOUL with a body, NOT a body with a soul.
  • My appearance, weight, etc does not determine my value.

I know at first this may sound a little cheesy and overly-positive but I am telling you, it works. It really does. If you’re new to this, maybe just start out saying a simple affirmation once a day. Anyone can do that, right? Once you start seeing the impact of that affirmation (and you will), increase the amount of times you say it and HOW you say it. One of the coolest ways I’ve learned how to say affirmations is to stand in front of the mirror, look yourself  in the eye, and speak your truth. At first, this is hard. Very hard. But the more you do it, the easier it gets and the more you start to believe it. Looking in the mirror every day and telling myself “I am beautiful” has completely changed things for me. Try it for yourself.

Last year, I was in an IOP (intensive outpatient program) where we did this really neat positive affirmation practice. The leader of the group started out by telling us all to go outside, look around, and write about something we thought was beautiful. People wrote about the flowers and the grass, the tall buildings and the butterflies. As for me? I wrote about the sky, of course. (Those who know me know about my weird obsession with the sky). As someone who loves to write and loves the sky, I was all over this. I wrote about how it was open and expansive, beautiful and calming. I wrote and wrote and wrote until the leader called us back in the room.

Once we were inside, she told us all to read what we had written. But then, she pulled a trick on us. Whatever we had written about, we had to cross out that word (“sky”) and put the word “I” instead. Then we had to read it out loud. Mine sounded a little something like this:

“I am open. I am expansive. I am beautiful. I am calm.”

And it went on and on and on. This was such a powerful experience and one that I will never forget. If God spent so much time making a beautiful sky and flowers for us to enjoy, just imagine how much more time he spent on us. His people, his humans, his children. His greatest accomplishment and most prized possession.

How funny it is that it’s so easy to see the beauty in His creation, but so hard to see the beauty in ourselves. 

So I know this is more of an extreme example, but learning to view myself in a positive light, an empowered light has changed everything. And know that it’s okay to say affirmations that you may not believe at first. This is TOTALLY normal. When I first started saying “I am brave”, I did not believe it at all. I was at a point where I was crippled with anxiety and tied down by my fears. I was the opposite of brave. But day after day, I filled myself with that truth:

Scared to go on a first date? “I am brave.” And look, now I have Chris ❤

Scared to go to school? “I am brave.” And now I have a degree.

Scared to go to yoga training? “I am brave.” And I completed my first weekend of training. Sore as frick, but I did it.

Trust me, you are these things. You are brave, you are beautiful, you are capable. Your sneaky little mind is the only thing keeping you from believing the truth. Fight against it, would you? Tell your brain to shut up. Tell your brain to quiet down. And tell yourself that YOU are in control, YOU have the power inside of you, and YOU will fulfill the affirmations you set for yourself if only you give it a try.

Love you all!

Tate

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Random Thoughts + Life Update + Rambling

Hi guys! Sooo I usually don’t do posts like this, but I thought it might be a good idea to give ya’ll a little glimpse into my life because THINGS ARE CHANGINGGG (and I’m trying not to freak out about it. Yo girl happens to be a bit of a creature of habit) but for the most part, all good changes. Exciting exciting exciting!

So if you follow me on Insta (tatum_morton) you might have seen my post a few days ago about how I’m starting my yoga teacher training next week and guys, I am PUMPED. Like I’ve never been so excited for something in my whole life. It’s kinda funny because when I started yoga a few years ago, everyone thought it would be just a little phase that I would grow out of. But the more I practiced, the more I fell in love with it and knew it was supposed be a big part in my life. Hence, yoga teacher training. I’m feeling allllll da feels: excited, nervous, anxious, ready to meet people, ready to try something new but mostly…excited. I can’t wait to find people who are into this whole health and wellness lifestyle that I am SO passionate about. I don’t feel like I’ve met my tribe of people yet, so I hope this experience will introduce me to some of my tribe members!

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I have biiiiig dreams for this yoga thing and I feel like this training is the first step. Eventually, I would love love love to teach yoga at an eating disorder treatment center. As some of you know, treatment was the first place I  got introduced to yoga. At first, I was not super down for it and had the “yoga is stretching” mentality. But once I got more and more into yoga, I realized that yes…some of it is stretching, but the other part is a kickass workout. And the BEST part, is the spiritual part of it. Guys, I am telling you…yoga has changed my life. The way I view the world, view myself, treat others, has completelyyyy changed since I started practicing. Oh and for someone who severely struggles with anxiety, learning about BREATHING has been a complete game changer. The fact that I have all that I need inside of me (breath, Jesus, power, peace, blah blah blah) has really helped lower my anxious and never-ending thoughts. Praise the Lord. And the yoga mat.

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Nexttttt….MY BROTHER GOT MARRIEDAnd I’m not just saying this because he’s my brother, but it was the BEST wedding I’ve ever been to. Beautiful, personal, and tons and tons of fun (maybe the alcohol had something to do with that?) I keep joking that it was the best night of my life and it wasn’t even my wedding lol. I think what made it so special is because of the relationship I have with Ty and Ry. To be completely honest, Rylee is the sister I’ve always wanted but never had. And trust me, we are sisters, complete with clothes sharing and bickering and all the stuff that sisters do. I’ve never been super close to my brother, which makes me sad, but I truly feel that Rylee has helped me and my brother get closer. I must admit, he is a prettyyy cool guy and I’m proud to call him my brother. It has been the coolest experience to watch them fall in love and finally take that step towards marriage. I was an emotional wreck the day of the wedding (imagine that lol) but it really was such a special night. I got the honor of making a lot of decorations for it so that was a fun way to be involved. If you need any wedding decos, hit meeee up. But yes, overall it was a spectacular night. Oh and I can’t forget to mention that I caught the bouquet! I mean, I do have a bit of the Morton competitiveness streak in me 😉 My Dad immediately ran up screaming “NO NO NO” and my boyfriend stood in the corner, terrified. Good times, good times :’)

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Hmm…what to talk about next?! This is kinda vague but I feel like God is about to do some big things in my life. I don’t even know how to explain it, but I’ve been feeling the need for change, for movement, for transition. I’ve always wanted to travel and that urge is getting stronger and stronger by the day. I would love to go on a mission trip or a internship abroad or something like that. I just feel like this world is so big, so why shouldn’t we explore it?! Why shouldn’t we travel and spread The Word and love people and do things and have those experiences to look back on. I feel like I’ve spent these past few years of my life doing a lot of internal work with my recovery and all that. And you know what? I’m kinda done with that period of my life. That work had to be done and it was and now I know who I am and I’m on the path of recovery and I wanna LIVE. Go places! Meet people! Try new things! Eat new foods (God, I have waited SO long to not be scared of that) and LIVE MY LIFE.

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One more thing I wanted to touch on was the power of intention setting, manifestation, the law of attraction and all that good stuff. Your reality is a product of your thoughts. Think good things, good things will happen. Put out good vibes, receive good vibes. I know that sounds very yoga and woowoo to a lot of you, but I’m telling you, this stuff works. I write intentions like no other and practice meditation each and every day. So I urge you to write it out. Write what you want your life to look like in one year, two years, five years. What kind of person do you want to be? Where do you want to live? Make a dream board! Ahhh, these are my favorite things ever. So fun to make and even funner (not a word, I know) to watch come to life. A lot of what is happening right now are things that I have jotted down in my journal months ago. Like no joke, specific things have happened that I never would’ve dreamed could happen. Dream big, my friends. Dream big.

And that’s all I have for you today! Sorry if that was boring and kinda all over the place but that’s how I roll. I feel like I’m finally at a good spot in my life: confident in who I am, determined to reach my goals, and open to new experiences and new people coming into my life. This life really is such a beautiful thing. A crazy, complicated makes you wanna chop your head off thing….but a beautiful one as well. Grateful grateful grateful.

Have a wonderful day my little lovebugs!

Tate ❤

Idolatry

If I had to pick one topic in Christianity that pumps me up the most, it would hands down be idolatry. I’ve read every book and listened to every sermon I can find on this topic and it still blows my mind EVERY SINGLE TIME. Idolatry explains every and all sins and is applicable to each and every one of us in our day to day lives. And if you’re not exactly sure what idolatry is, here’s my quick and easy definition:

Idolatry: worshiping something other than God, putting something above God

I contribute all of my knowledge on this topic to Kyle Idleman and his book, Gods at War. If you have not read this book, read it. And if you need a copy, hit yo gurl up. That is if you don’t mind that every page is highlighted and has a million notes on it 🙂

So I don’t remember exactly who put it this way (probably Idleman) but it all comes down to this:

Idolatry is not sin, it is the ROOT OF ALL sins. Idolatry is not AN issue, it is THE issue.

Let me explain: every sin comes back to putting something above God. I mean, think about it. If you’re:

  • cheating on your significant other, lust is your idol.
  • a workaholic, work is your idol. Success is your idol. Achievement is your idol.
  • struggling with an eating disorder, ED (your eating disorder voice) is your idol. Appearance is your idol. Beauty is your idol. (And yes, this is my personal example.)

Make sense? Everything comes back to worshiping something other than God, whether that be yourself or an idol of this world. And given the world we live in, it’s hard not to fall under the temptation of the idols we are exposed to today.

I was watching a CCV sermon the other day and they asked some good questions for those of you who might not know what your idol(s) is. If that’s the case, listen up:

  • What do you spend most of your time doing?
  • What do you spend most of your time thinking about?
  • What do you spend your money on?
  • What keeps you from getting closer with God? From going to church?
  • What area of your life do you feel like you need to control?

If you spend most of your time working out, maybe appearance is a God for you. If you can’t make it to church because you’re too busy watching or playing sports, maybe athletics is a God for you. If you freak out when you don’t get all A’s, maybe perfectionism is a God for you. There’s a multitude of other things than can become Gods and here’s the part to keep in mind:

These things usually start off as good things, but GOOD things can easily turn into GOD things.

Let’s take grades, for example. Wanting to get good grades is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s an excellent thing. But if your grades are controlling your life and you view them as an indication of your worth, that’s where the issue is. That’s when you know a good thing has turned into a God thing.

Now here’s a toughie: relationships. Relationships are good, relationships are healthy. We are meant for connection. But a relationship with a person should never come before a relationship with God. Ask yourself: are you more concerned about spending time with _________ or spending time with God? Are you more worried about the approval of others or the approval of God? If someone is straying you away from God, is that relationship really worth it?

When it comes down to it, we were CREATED to live a life with God as our #1. That’s why life starts to get messy when we start living life differently. And I get it, I really do. Life is busy and there’s so many things vying for our time and attention, but remember WHO created you and WHY He created you: to serve Him.

Regardless of whatever idol you might find yourself a slave to, we’re all searching for the same thing: love, fulfillment, acceptance. But here’s the catch:

We’re searching for THINGS to fill that void when GOD is the only one who can.

A “perfect” body? Good grades? A high income? Not gonna do it. It’s deeper than that, it requires something greater than that. It requires Jesus.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m still working on this myself. I still struggle every day with the gods of this world. I constantly have to remind myself that in order to have God first in my life, I must die to myself. I must keep God on His throne. I must remember that:

  • NOTHING is more important than God
  • I am loved and valuable REGARDLESS of my appearance or achievements
  • If I’m spending too much time thinking or doing something, it may be a god for me

This is not something to be ashamed of. You must address and confront your gods before you can tackle them. This was KEY in my own recovery. Once I realized it was a spiritual battle, the game completely changed.

And please know this: you are not alone when it comes to this. We ALL have gods. Some just look different than others. Some are more hidden than others. But maybe the most hidden ones are the deepest ones? Maybe the people who seem to have it all together are the ones who are struggling the most? You never know what someone is going through. You never know what gods they are falling victim to.

That is why we must constantly be aware of the gods that are trying to attack us. We live in a world of spiritual warfare, a fallen world where we so easily get tempted and teased by sins every day. They sneak in and present themselves as good things and before we know it, they’re God things. That’s how the devil works. He’s a sneaky one.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” -1 Peter 5:8

So keep watch, my friends. Take a look at your idols. Focus on your priorities. Keep God #1 and I’m telling you, your life will CHANGE.

Love love love you!

Tate

Date Yo Self

Sometimes it scares me that I like to be alone so much. Sometimes it concerns me that I have a hard time when others are around, that my mood drastically changes in the presence of others. Is this what it’s like to be an introvert? A highly sensitive introvert? A highly sensitive introvert in a world of extroverts? Hmm.

I don’t think liking to be by myself is a bad thing, but I think it’s a bad thing if I can’t adapt to being with others. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t crave people, why I don’t crave that community? Life is all about people, right? Community and connections and relationships. At least, that’s what pastor Dan always says (and churches in general, and people in general, and life in general). But if life is such a social thing, why do I prefer to be alone?

It’s weird to me that some of my best moments and memories have been by myself. It kinda makes me happy though. There are some things that have happened that no one else knows about and no one else will ever know about. They were moments that were meant for me and only me and I feel special knowing that it was a unique, personal experience. Moments with God, moments on my yoga mat, moments in nature. Moments when I was depressed, moments laying in bed during treatment, moments when I literally had to pep talk myself into doing something I was scared of. But I did it, I did all of those things. By myself, I might add. Emotions and experiences all by myself. I am my own best friend.

I suppose that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some people can’t stand to be by themselves and I feel sorry for them. I have spent so long trying to figure out who I am and now that I finally have a grasp on it, I like who I am. I want to be around myself because I have worked so hard shaping myself into the person I want to be around. Truth is, you have to be around yourself forever so the sooner you start liking yourself, the better. There’s no getting rid of ya.

 

there is you and you.

this is a relationship.

this is the most important relationship.

 

– home

Nayirarah Waheed wrote this poem and I absolutely love it. It speaks truth, like all of her work so beautifully does. You and you is a relationship. You and you is the most important relationship. We spend so much time trying to create and strengthen relationships with others, but why don’t we work on creating and strengthening the relationship with ourselves? It takes just as much time and effort as any relationship does but hear me on this one: it’s worth it. The time spent is worth it. The effort spent is worth it. YOU are worth it.

So take yourself on a date. Explore your hobbies. Figure out what YOU like and what you “like” because everyone else likes it. Buy yourself a milkshake, or a bath bomb, or a book. Sit at a coffee shop all day. Sit on a mountain top all day. I don’t really care what you do, but do something. You deserve to spend time with yourself.

Think about when you start dating someone new. You want to know everythinggggg about them. Now do that with yourself. Find out who you truly are and then seek out things that support and honor that person. Things will change after you start “dating” yourself. You’ll see that some people in your life are not good for you, so off they go. Some things you spend so much time doing really aren’t getting you any closer to your goals so to the trash they go. The clothes you wear, the music you listen to, the environment you surround yourself with: do you even like these things? If not, why do you do them? Why do you force yourself to be someone you’re not?

I’m at the place where I know myself so well. I know what things make me happy and what things don’t. I know the type of people I want to be friends with and the people I need to keep my distance from. I’ve accepted that I’m an introvert, I’m creative, I’m outdoorsy, I’m sensitive. I’ve accepted that I’m complicated, I’m moody, I’m strong-willed, I’m a morning person. These sound like little things but they are the things that make up ME. I can’t change them, nor do I want to. I may not be like everyone else but I’m at the point where I don’t really care. I remember I used to care so much about what people thought of me. I would cover my face in makeup and spend so much money on clothes and I was highly affected by other people’s opinions. But now? I wear what I want. I barely wear makeup. I’m proud of my freckles. I know that I am so much more than what I look like. You can’t tell anything by what someone looks like. I’m confident in WHO I am as a person rather than WHAT I look like and let me tell ya, it’s been a beautiful transformation. And I only hope that happens for you too. Because remember:

You’re worth it. You deserve it. You’re unique and awesome and the world needs you to be authentically YOU.

Kbye I’m taking myself out on a date!

Tate

Happiness vs. Joy

There are a lot of things that make me happy. Things like puppies and kitties and chunky little babies, reading and running and browsing through antique shops. Things like freshly baked cookies and falling asleep to the sound or rain, watching the Bachelor finale (shallow, I know) and looking up YouTube videos of people falling (mean, I know). But these things only last so long and only make me happy for a short amount of time. We’ll call them temporary pleasures for the sake of this post. And although I enjoy them and they do bring a smile to my face, they don’t compare to the things…

…that bring me joy. Oh the things that bring me joy! I can (and probably will) go on and on and ON about these things. Things like nature and yoga and coffee dates with old friends. Laughing until my stomach hurts (or until I start snorting), late night drives with my momma, or witnessing the miracles of our good good Father. THESE are the things that light my heart on fire, the things that make me think, “I am so happy to be alive.” They’re soul filling, long lasting, and give me not only a short term burst of pleasure, but a long term effect of joy.

I decided to write this post because I feel like our world is confused on what is happiness and what is joy. Happiness and joy are not interchangeable words. You can’t switch them out like you could couch or sofa, dinner or supper, water or H20. They are two completely different things with completely different meanings. And the easiest way to sum it up is something like this:

Happiness: “temporary pleasures”, things that bring you pleasure for a short time, AKA “desires of the flesh/worldly desires” in the Christian world

Joy: things that light your soul on fire, things that MATTER, a sense of peace and fulfillment that never goes away DESPITE your circumstances, “good vibes/good energy” for all you spiritual badasses

Happiness is fleeting. If I see a puppy, I’m happy. If the puppy runs away, I’m sad.

But joy, joy is eternal. Joy comes from our Father. Joy comes from knowing that He is in control regardless of how out of control our life may seem. Joy is an attitude, a decision, something you FEEL deep down in your soul. Joy is being able to see a puppy and feel happy, but still maintaining that state of joy when the puppy runs away.

The things of this world don’t offer that kind of joy. It is only something we can get from the man upstairs. The world tries to convince us that we once we get XYZ (a six pack, a boyfriend, a job), we will be happy. And I’m here to tell you that’s bullshit. Yep, you heard me. The world is lying to you.

Those things will not bring you lasting happiness. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not a bad thing to have goals for yourself and want to find your soulmate or a career you love or buy a house of your own. Those things in and of themselves are not wrong. But relying on those things to make you happy, to make you JOYFUL, to give you a lasting sense of peace and purpose – THAT is where the problem is.

Often times, I find joy in the little things. I find joy when I’m on top of a mountain, marveling at the craftsmanship of our Father. I find joy when little kids laugh (is that not the cutest thing EVER), or when someone I love is smiling and they look so beautiful, or when I feel deeply connected to a song  or a poem or a piece of art. Those are the things you have to seek out, the tiny miracles that add up to a life of joy.

The important thing to remember is that joy is not determined by your current circumstance. It’s not a puppy. You can be in a really crappy situation, but still feel a sense of joy within. I know that’s hard to wrap your head around, especially when life gets tough –  when the thoughts won’t stop or the tears keep falling or the depression is paralyzing, it’s TOUGH. But I can tell you because I have been there that the joy of the Lord is the only thing that has kept me going during those times. The. Only. Thing

“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” -Nehemiah 8:10

It makes me sad when I think about the world we’re in and how so many people are lost in the temporary pleasures it gives. People do anything they can to fill the void, to try to be happy. They stay out late at clubs and drink themselves to sleep, they self-medicate or smoke or party party party. They’re so desperately seeking for something that will fill them up, something that will make them feel less empty. But those things they’re seeking won’t do that. They’ll only make them feel more depleted. I’m here to tell you that there is one thing, or rather, one person that can bring you the joy you’re so deeply craving. If you find yourself in that situation, Jesus Christ is your man.

Happiness vs joy. Temporary vs eternal. The things that SEEM like they matter vs the things that ACTUALLY matter. Pick and choose wisely, my friends. Pick and choose wisely.

You deserve to have your soul on fire. You deserve to feel a burning in your chest. You deserve a sense of peace and passion and overwhelming joy. Now go seek it.

Hope you guys are having an amaaaaaaazing week! Feel free to comment below if you’d like!

XOOXOXXOXO

Tate

The Power of Being Known

Chances are, you don’t know me. Maybe you read my blog and maybe I like your Instagram pictures, maybe we’re Snapchat friends or occasionally like each other’s tweets. You may think you “know” me but you don’t KNOOOOW me…and there’s a BIG difference.

The other day I was sitting down with someone who has been in my life for about seven years now. I was venting to him about how my Grandma just died and how I’m struggling with recovery and how life has just been really hard lately. I was broken, hopeless, and ultimately in need of some words of encouragement. What he didn’t give me was that, but what he did give me was something I will never EVER forget:

He got real quiet, looked me deep in the eyes, and said “Tatum, I KNOW you.”

And that was that.

I. Know. You.

Three simple words that meant everything to me, that meant more than any advice or encouragement could ever mean. He didn’t tell me that things were going to get better, that life was just testing me, that I needed to keep my chin up. But he did tell me that he knew me, and that was all that mattered.

At our core, we all have a longing to be known – to know others and be known by them without having to put up any walls or put on any masks. It’s a hard thing to be vulnerable, but it’s a beautiful thing. Magic happens when you let someone SEE you, when you let someone in REGARDLESS of how you FEEL or LOOK that day. When you can BE YOURSELF without fearing what someone will say or how they will react. When you let someone see your HEART, you let them SEE you. And when you let someone SEE you, you are KNOWN.

“Watch carefully the magic that occurs when you give a person just enough comfort to be themselves.” –Atticus

I could’ve gone into that conversation with that person guarded, with my walls up, with a smile slapped on my face. But I didn’t. I CHOSE to let him see me in my darkness, my despair, my hopelessness. I let him watch as the tears fell down my face. I let him see the pain in my eyes. I allowed him to see WHO I was, AS I was, that day. And every day is different. He has seen me on top of the world and under the world, he has seen me laugh without a care and cry without a cause. He has seen me in my highest of highs and lowest of lows and BECAUSE he has been there through all of that, he KNOWS me. He knows my heart, my intentions, the core of who I am. And knowing that he knows me is one of the most special, treasured feelings I have ever had.

Who knows you? Truly, honestly KNOWS you? Who have you let in? Who do you NEED to let in? For a long time, I wrestled with these questions and was heartbroken when I finally realized the answer: not enough people. I had let my family in, but that was pretty much it. And let me tell ya, it was a lonely way to live. I wondered why didn’t have strong friendships, why I didn’t let others get close to me, what was WRONG with me. One day, the answer hit me like a ton of bricks: INSECURITY. Yep, I was insecure to a point where it paralyzed me. I didn’t like me, so how could others possibly like me? I wouldn’t dare let them in because I was terrified of them seeing who I truly was. And that’s when the work began.

The work of truly figuring out who I was, what I believed in, what my values were. It may sound funny, but it took me a long time to get to know myself again. For so long I had hid behind walls of shame and doubt and insecurity; I had hid behind my eating disorder, my cheer uniform, ANYTHING that could protect people from knowing the real me. I felt like people liked me, but they didn’t know me. I had “friends,” but I didn’t have FRIENDS. It was a devastating realization and the only person to blame was myself. I was the one who had created those barriers and boy, I was the one who was gonna break them down.

And I did. I did the work. I figured out who I was and slowly started letting people see that person. Day by day, I watched my relationships get stronger – the casual catching up and small talk I was used to turned into deep, meaningful conversations with people. And the strangest thing happened: the more I let people see me, the more they let me see them. It was a beautiful thing, a powerful thing. My relationships became a safe place, an open place, a place where I was listened to and loved and KNOWN, truly fully KNOWN.

Let yourself be known today. Trust me, you’re awesome. And if you don’t think so, it’s your silly little brain telling you that. You are unique, one of a kind, and so unbelievably worthy of being known.

XOXO Tate

the PROBLEM with PROBLEMS

Problems. We all have them, and in one way or another, we all handle them. Some of us avoid them, some of us tackle them head on, and some of us go about it at more of a leisurely pace, thinking “it will all work out in the end.” Whatever your technique, problems are inevitable and we must deal with them in order to move on with our lives. However, there is one big problem about problems (hahahah) and that is this:

It’s important to look at the problem in your life, but your problem shouldn’t BE your life

Let me elaborate: Dealing with your problems is a GOOD thing, a HEALTHY thing. But it can turn into a not-so-good, not-so-healthy thing if your whole entire life is about solving your problem. Life is not one big math equation and there is not one perfect solution. Bummer, I know :/ If we spend our whole entire life trying to solve that problem or find that solution, we will waste our life. One problem is not worth one life, regardless of how big it is.

Let me explain even more: Most of you know I’m recovering from anorexia. The past seven years of my life have been dedicated to recovery. I’ve spent years and years in all sorts of treatments, from inpatient to outpatient to IOP’s to groups to individual therapy and on and on and on. I’ve had to focus a lot on my eating disorder because my life actually depended on it. Had I not spent so long fighting for recovery, I would not be here today. Eating disorders are exhausting, soul-sucking, and ultimately life-threatening. And that was my problem.

However, a few weeks ago, I realized an awful truth: My eating disorder had become my life. It was no longer a problem IN my life, but my life ITSELF. When people asked me who I was and what I did, my first thought was “Well I count calories and exercise obsessively and cry about food and *insert more eating disorder behaviors here). I no longer had a life anymore. ED had stolen it.

As much as this realization sucked, it made me really think about the life I want to live vs the life I’m living. I don’t want my life to be my eating disorder; I want my life to be free and happy and balanced and fun. I want my life to be full of people and places and traveling and yes…even food. I want to take back my life, the life that was never ED’s in the first place.

Maybe you don’t have an eating disorder. Maybe this isn’t making sense to you at all. But my guess is, you probably have some type of problem in your life right now. What I want to do is encourage you to take a step back and honestly look at how much of that problem is taking up your life. Do you feel like you’re living life and this is just a problem in it? Or do you feel like you’re living in your problem and life is just what happens in the meantime? It’s a weird concept to wrap your head around, but definitely something to think about.

Because when it comes down to it, life is short. So so unbelievably short. And I don’t want to spend my life going from problem to problem or in my case, being stuck on the same problem forever. Life isn’t about solving problems; life is about living. So I urge you to really let that sink in and do some introspection about the problems you have in your own life. Just remember, we’re all in this together (cue High School Musical). But really, I’m in the same boat. We all are. Let’s tackle our problems together, tell them to shut the eff up and LEAVE, and get on with LIVING our LIFE, shall we?

xoxooxxoxo

Tate