People Come and People Go

“People enter our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. We only get disappointed if we try to force relationships beyond their purpose.”

A reason, a season, or a lifetime. That’s what it comes down to, friends. It seems a little harsh but its the cold honest truth. And sometimes the truth hurts a little, especially when someone you thought was a lifetime person only ended up being a season person. That’s some tough stuff right there.

I’m writing this post because it’s something I personally struggle with. I’m a sensitive person, I get attached easily, and I don’t move on very quickly. Let’s face it, sometimes I don’t move on at all. If someone comes in my life, I assume they’re not gonna leave. But it doesn’t always work out that way. Just like the quote, some people only come for a reason or a season and that is not something easy for me to accept.

First things first, a REASON. These are the people who come in and out of your life for well, a reason. To teach you something, to give you a lesson, to show you something only they could show you. Several people come to mind. Ex boyfriends came and went for a reason. To teach me how I should be treated (or shouldn’t be for that matter). Certain teachers came into my life for a reason – to show me that teachers are more than just teachers; they’re humans. Certain doctors came into my life for a reason – because they knew just how to help me at just the right time. But sometimes, I think the people that come into your life for a reason are mostly strangers. People you don’t go out of your way to meet. People that randomly pop in and out but somehow teach you something along the way. You may never see them again, but they taught you something you’ll never forget. Whether it was a homeless person on the side of the road or a check out lady at the grocery store, you ran into them for some certain reason. Our job is to find out that reason.

Alright, my least favorite…a season. A week, a month, a year. Maybe a few years if you’re lucky. These are the people that come and stay, but not too long. Before you know it they’re gone. Blink your eyes and they’ve disappeared. With or without warning, addressing or confronting closure, they’re gone. Tough stuff, but I think I’m starting to understand it a little. I think God gives us the right people at the right time. I think He strategically places people into our lives that He knows we NEED. Maybe we don’t necessarily want them, but we need them for one reason or another. In certain times in my life, I needed certain friends to be there for me – to love me when I was unlovable, to hold me when I was hysterical, to be there when I wasn’t fully there myself. In certain seasons of my life, I needed that support of that boyfriend, or the compassion of that youth leader, or that sense of belongingness that came from being on a team. But when the season was over, my relationships with those people were over too. Come and go, come and go. New people for a new season. Bring it on, God.

And dun dun dun.. a lifetime. These are the people that are stuck with ya. Muahahhaha. It’s crazy to me that you could meet someone for the first time, a lifetime person, and have absolutely no idea. Doesn’t that just blow your mind? Like the first time you say hello, the first time you look in their eyes; you could be looking in those eyes for the rest of your life and not even know it. Crazy, man. But lifetime people are important because they’re there for all of it – the good, the bad, and the ugly. The ups as well as the downs. The tears alongside the laughs. They’re the consistent, reliable people that you know will always be there for you no matter what. Listen to me for a sec, will ya? If you have one of those people, never let them go. Ever. Fight for them like they fight for you. Love them not just for a reason, not just for a season, but for a lifetime.

I’ve probably mentioned in some of my other posts the concept of Love and Let Go. It’s pretty simple. You love people and then you let them go. Whether that be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. The loving part, now that’s easy. I can love and love and love and love some more. But the letting go part? That’s the toughie. What really helps me when it comes to letting go is focusing on the fact that some people were never meant to be in your life forever. I repeat, some people WERE NEVER MEANT to be in your life forever. When God decided that you two were going to meet, he had an expiration date on the relationship. He knew when it was going to start and when it was going to end and that was it. Shouldn’t we trust God enough to respect his expiration date? Yeah, sometimes I wish I knew the expiration date of certain relationships so I could prepare for their ending. Like why can’t people have little numbers on the side of their arm signaling their date of departure just like milk cartons have expiration dates? Same thing basically. The milk’s not good anymore so you throw it away. The relationships’s not good anymore so you throw it away. You leave. And you don’t look back. Human expiration dates – now that is a topic I will have to bring up with God tonight during my prayers.

This whole reason, season, lifetime thing puts everything in perspective for me. It makes me not want to go back to old relationships, try to rekindle the fire of past romances, attempt to save a fading friendship. Because maybe, just maybe, those relationships were perfect just the way they were. Those people came for a reason, a season, and that’s it. All done. Case closed.

But my lifetime people, those are the people I choose to focus on. My family, my closest friends, my kitty (does that count?) I’ve been blessed with a few lifetime people – not a lot, but just enough. They’re supportive and encouraging and selfless and hilarious. They love me when I don’t love myself and hold me up when I’m falling down. Beautiful people, I’m telling you. And I thank God every day they’re the ones without an expiration date.

So that’s it, peeps. That’s my little piece of advice for letting go, for moving on, for leaving the past in the past. Some relationships are meant to last forever and some are not and that’s just how it is.

Hope ya’ll are having a lovely day!

Tate

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